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My
journey to Bhutan took me first to Darjeeling, for preparatory
training prior to entering into the traditional three_year retreat,
which I hoped to undertake with Kalu Rinpoche, about whom I had
heard from the16th Karmapa. Upon arrival in Darjeeling, I found
my way to Bhutia Busty Monastery, where Kalu Rinpoche was working
with Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche exchanging knowledge, traditions,
and teachings with each other from their respective lineages—Shangpa
Kagyu and Nyingma. This was just a few years after the Chinese
invasion of Tibet and it was of urgent importance to preserve
these precious oral traditions, which under the current conditions
of political turmoil were in great danger of being lost.
I
arrived at the monastery in the morning and met Kalu Rinpoche’s
nephew, Gyaltsen, who immediately upon hearing that I had been
sent by the Karmapa, showed me to the top floor, where Kalu Rinpoche
was about to have breakfast of tea and Tibetan bread. Then in
his late 50s, thin and gentle in appearance, my first impression
of Kalu Rinpoche was that he looked like Milarepa himself.
I
prostrated and Kalu Rinpche welcomed me. I gave him the letter
I had from the Karmapa and before he opened it he told me it was
very auspicious that I had come on that particular day because
he was going to be giving the Milarepa Guru Yoga empowerment.
He also remarked that our lineage is based on the sacred symbolic
relationship between student and teacher. He then opened the letter
and before reading it, gave me the piece of bread that was in
front of him. Right away I felt comfortable and at ease, which
surprised me since I had been told at Rumtek that Kalu Rinpoche
was very strict and I would probably not be able to handle the
rigors of being his disciple.
Kalu
Rinpoche looked up from the letter and asked me if I was a monk
and I said no. He said it was important for me to be ordained
before going into retreat, which was exactly what I wanted. He
said that sometime within the next six months I would be ordained.
It now seemed to me that all my wishes would be fulfilled.
Next
he read the letter out loud to me.
In essence it said: This young dharma student has had many
struggles because his root guru has died and his family does not
support him in his practice.
I am sending him to you because his intention is strong
and I believe he will be of future benefit to our lineage. Please
give him all the teachings and put him into retreat with your
other disciples.
So
I spent the next six months studying and preparing for retreat
with about a hundred refugee monks who had recently fled Tibet.
A group of about 15 of us used one of the monastery kitchens
as our dormitory. I
had a little corner where I kept my blanket, a tiny kerosene stove,
and one cooking pot. I had arrived with about 50 rupees, which
I knew would not last long.
But before it ran out, I started to go out and beg for
food whenever I could find a few spare minutes between teachings
and study sessions. The
other monks, who had even less than I did, also begged when they
could and I know they were hungry a lot of the time but they always
seemed happy. I would
see them carrying water from the well, singing and smiling.
Even when they were turned harshly away while begging,
they were always positive and optimistic.
Each
night during puja, Kalu Rinpoche provided us with soup. Younger
monks would come around with a big steaming caldron and ladle
hot soup into the bowls we brought with us, and afterwards there
would be tea. I don’t know how Kalu Rinpoche found the money to
do this, but without it we probably wouldn’t have survived. After
Mahakala puja, I would go back to my little corner with a candle
and study some more or sometimes a group of monks would organize
a study session together.
Throughout
this period, Khyentse Rinpoche and Kalu Rinpoche were offering
a wealth of empowerments and teachings from both their lineages.
We all knew how fortunate we were to witness this amazing
convergence of two such realized masters. These were utterly remarkable
circumstances.
As
the training period drew to a close, I received ordination from
Kalu Rinpoche and began to think about the journey to Bhutan.
When I found out how much the train ticket would cost, I saw that
I didn’t have enough money and would have to sell the beautiful
wood-block, Song of Mahakala, that one of my teachers at Rumtek
had given me. It broke my heart to sell this precious book, with
its exquisite line drawings and musical notation, but I had no
choice. Even so, I still didn’t have enough money for the ticket.
I
also had an antique Mahakala offering bowl, which had been given
to me by my beloved teacher, Drubpon Tenzin Rinpoche.
The bowl had belonged to the 15th
Gyalwa Karmapa’s consort and at her funeral was given to
my teacher along with many of her other ritual belongings.
Since this was the only other valuable thing I owned, I
considered selling it as well, but something stopped me. I tried
instead to give it to Kalu Rinpoche with the hope that he might
lend me a little money, but he wouldn’t take the bowl and he gave
me the rest of the money I needed for the ticket.
Since
I didn’t have one extra rupee, I planned to beg for food along
the way. My first attempt at the three-year retreat had been cut
short by my illness and the death of my beloved teacher, but this
time I felt sure it would be realized with the help and blessings
of this immensely kind and generous teacher, Kalu Rinpoche. So
I began this next part of my journey with a profound sense that
everything was now going to be alright.
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